Purely Not Original

As the world goes to sleep; you open your eyes,

Moon you call me; I adorn the skies,

Indifferent is my Garb; I am present day and night,

My presence remains the same, changes only the sight.



As the cosmos began to evade I was born;

O' beautiful earth you held me back before I was torn,

Supported me, comforted me and smiled at me

You became the friend whom I can only see.



I wanted to live my life again; I wanted to be tough,

You never did anything; your gravity was enough,

Baselessly I evaluated, I appraised and loved,

I never knew what pleasure was there but I revolved.



I kept revolving and revolving; my eyes always set on you,

You could only look at me at night – I never knew,

Day flourishes on you; Sun is the only one which matters,

Whenever I think about it my heart cries spatters.



Never should you shed a tear, is my prime concern,

Honest were my feelings, I didn't expect a return.

Then why do I hide behind the clouds and why do I feel the pain,

Tears I can't hide; they fall as rain.



If I don't want anything in return and I have cipher expectations;

Why I am doing all these literary expressions?

Do I expect? I asked myself not out of the blue,

And you feel for the sun exactly what I feel for you.



But I always wear a smile; I have a reason for mirth,

In my heart you shall reside 'O Beautiful Earth'.

The Sun is about to rise, soon shall I fade,

I shall live with the memories, they never evade.



Generous was the Sun; he valued, I thought, my feelings,

But when I eclipsed Him from you, He presented you the Ring.

But, whatever, remember me if you can, as a period of spring,

As a light in the dark, as a shine of your Ring.



But you know what; the shine of the ring is Sun's light,

His light fills me in day and I am visible only at night,

Sun knows what I feel for you is what you feel for him,

And yet he fills me; sometimes bright and sometimes dim.



But you look at yourself; take a break from the lives and beauty,

We are all a family and you compete with the Venus being the snooty,

If you accept my appraisals then accept my scolding too,

For your happiness, anybody you can woo.



I still love you and you will be my beloved forever,

Whom I can only see but can reach you never,

We all are a part of it and all are necessary for our presence,

So, recompose yourself; I still remember the smile you gave me once.

According to psychologists, there are 6 basic sets of human mind. And one of those kinds is "Expressive" Moody. Bloggers always have to say something. We want to say things which we want to be listened. And thereby felt. And thereby gain importance. And thereby gain appreciation, sympathy, pity etc. etc. Me myself being a blogger and claiming things like these makes me a hypocrite among bloggers and truthful in front of others. Yet again stating the above sentence makes me even bigger of both the above kinds. Anyways, sometimes bloggers write to be heard and if possible be felt and be realized. And why so? To make a difference. If not in one's own life but then in another's life. It feels good to be a mentor. It makes people feel like GOD. But then sometimes people really don't care to be acknowledged of their free teachings. And those writings are really appreciated and received well. But when you associate a name to it - it is called hypocrisy.

I expressed to be trusted, I expressed to be sympathized, I expressed to be appreciated, I expressed to be heard, I expressed to be felt, I expressed to MAKE THE DIFFERENCE, I expressed to be truthful, I expressed my best ... but then I expressed myself. And I became the hypocrite. Saying something that I really appreciate but considered bad by others makes me a hypocrite. Well it is true. But then you don't want to be called as a hypocrite by the persons especially for whom you are making the point. And then what makes you feel like a real hypocrite is that those persons that you had thought would call you hypocrite don't address you as one but they don't also believe in you.

I expressed and expressed. I iterated and expressed. I jumbled and expressed. I confused and expressed. But the I didn't get the slap which would make me feel easy. And so I expressed again. I expressed to peoples. I expressed to friends. I expressed to beloveds. I expressed to family. I expressed to Mentors. I expressed to Disciples. I expressed to myself. I got nothing. I expressed to expectations. I expressed to hopes. I expressed to optimism. I expressed to pessimism. I expressed to positivity. I expressed to negativity. I expressed to the Cypher. Yet I couldn't express to anybody.

I expressed to my mind. It answered back "Spots". I expressed to Spots. Spots grinned. I expressed to my mind. And my mind got submerged. And then it rose again. But then I made it sink. It swam up. But then I pushed it back. It came up again.

This time I won't let it go deep. But then I express to my expectations. Expectation answers, "I am at least something as long as you are a human". But then I express to my desires. Desire answers, "Necessity". But then I expressed to Necessity. Necessity answers, "I am not yours".

And then I expressed to Eternity. Eternity answered, "I don't exist." I expressed existence. Existence answered, "I am dependent on you". I expressed myself. I answered, " I am not sure. Why not take a chance?" And then I expressed Expression. Expression answered, "Your beloveds". I expressed my beloveds. They answered, "Nice. But Shut Up." I understood "Shut Up" and wanted to hear it and so, felt a lot relaxed. But I didn't understand "Nice". I expressed Nice. And "Nice" answered "Hope". I expressed Hope. Hope answered "Expectation". I expressed Expectation. Expectation answered Desire. I expressed Desire. Desire answered Luxury. I expressed Luxury. Luxury answered, "Don't come after me. I will come after you."

I gave up expression. But for how long? Let me see. Can there be eternal sunshine of my spotty mind? How would you know? Because you are a VIRGIN and I AM NOT.

A ascetic poet as eases his pain out learns through the way of satire and sarcasm. The way to be happy lies in not writing this poem at all.

This as a poem, dont abbreviate;

Appraise I this as my disappointment.

Ever would I have got real busy;

Ever would if my enigma came easy,

Ever would I consider any one ally;

Never would if my psyche was queasy,

Life as is ephemeral wouldn't have known;

Pain that I endured as they weigh a ton,

Hurdles as they had been cast in my direction;

Weighed my endurance, as touchstone,

Still exist those yesterday's hurdles;

Though today euphony the world mumbles,

Sweet music today as the cosmos holds;

Still can hear yesterday's cry as it combusts,

Don’t read this as a poem as it rusts;

My pain is universe as this poem hosts.

Acme of the Alps as my end when I chose;

Delirious made me my pride as it rose,

Ascended the acclivity, on the peak were my toes;

Endowed by my gild a song as applause,

Sang a lot, though never did any music it compose;

Obeisance I thought, although I felt there my foes.

Every part of me today will be vibrating;

Jewelries and bangles as they will ring,

As life has started startling with the ping;

Despite the shivering bestowed by the ting.

As the lyric of a poem, please don’t sing;

Bosom of my pains, blossoms this spring.

Patronizes a hymn when my world, I start to cry;

Felicity when fills the world, to me it gets wry,

When my bon ton goes being fun and festal by;

My tears, I wait for the meandering wind to dry,

Refreshed to be, my world welcomes me "hi";

Lit I get to death, to be enlightened as I try.

You cadged, tell me which beguiler made the gain;

Codded you for asking what from heaven? --

Whenever by boon abnegates all of the Seven;

Befall rise of my vain to make me insane,

Don’t call this poetry as it has been given;

If pain is my religion, this is my fane.

As goads as those needled my heart pump;

Fell on cosmos's palms as a flower with a plump,

Baffled I got, almost offered off my feet a jump;

Dealt I was, the foemen as they tortured as a gump,

Of craziness, I was declared the sump;

Contempt on me, I realized my slump.

Eternally ever if existed anything mutual;

World's wishes and my curses, all natural,

Tender and delicate was the beautiful girl;

Responsibility to the nurture was highly brutal,

Thankful am I, got off the loads - one and all;

Cypher worries, added to woes, glad be, I shall.

This as a poem, don’t abbreviate;

Appraise I this as my disappointment.

Disclaimer:
This is Fiction. I am lying.
(When I say I am lying does that mean I am lying that I am lying or I am telling the truth that I am lying?)

READERS DISCRIMINATION HIGHLY ADVISED. FOR ADULTS ONLY.

This article presents the some open secret facts about human nature. Readers should take a note that this article is full of SLANGS. If you are confident enough then proceed.

During winter season in the northern hemisphere the sun makes an angle with the vertical more than usually it makes. It was mid December and sun was making much more than at least 24 degrees with vertical from my point of view and I was in Orissa. It was morning. I was on my way to Puri from Bhubaneswar in Tapaswini Express. Usually it takes at maximum 2 hours for that but for me it took around 5 hours because of nation wide strike dedicated to Mamta Banarjee. Everything seemed nice and cool. The environment and weather were perfect for any kind of romantic activities. Although I didn’t have any romantic experiences then I enjoyed the weather and gossips with 5 more child hood friends of mine. We enjoyed the strike and the station in Retanga where the train was stopped. More than usual amount of happiness were we getting because of the near future that we were going to make possible and there by would get HIGH. Well we couldn’t wait and started preparing joints right in the train. Before we reached at the holy place of Theists – The Puri, owned by Lord Mighty Jagannath I was already high spiritually, mentally, behaviorally. Believe it or not – Grass is always greener. Obviously we went to the best beach I ever seen in eastern and western India. I had my senses intact in my ass. Rest I left up to my friends. The sea was looking green to me. It was calling me. I was unable to hear anything my friends or the crowd said. It was a funny feeling. I was weightless. Funnier it looked to me when I saw myself laughing and smiling to forget my pains.

For a moment I let myself loose and went into the deep Green sky like a hot air gas balloon. She came once again. I saw her. I requested her not to fuck with me while my ass in still sealed and asked her to come if she can when I have my senses. She explained that I am the jackass who has created her while I am high and that she would never mingle with me in this state. Then we had a little conversation and I got introduced to someone. This is how it seemed.

Me: I can’t control myself but I can create fucking illusions? Bravo. Anyways what do you want then? Well, my asses are shrinking down when I beg a fucking kiss from a fucking illusion that I created by just puffing some fucking leaves. Please fuck off.

She: You know you don’t want me to leave you. And until you want it yourself I can’t. So shut the fuck up sweet heart. Well I am here today to introduce you to someone.

Me: Oh good! Is it another illusion by my pervert mind?

She: Well it is good if you leave your fucking mind alone for some moment. Just watch what is going on around here in this dimension. And your mind is not pervert. The right word would have been desirous. You just want to use some fucking words. Believe me he will help you in your worries.

Me: Who the fuck is he? And I don’t have any fucking problems. Leave me alone and let me enjoy the greenery all around here. I would have been glad if it was the fourth dimension.

(She vanished in the green and I tried to make her up again and so started concentrating. But she was gone. There are times when you want to be the big shot but actually you don’t have even a pair. It was funny as such to see my despair and grief over some uncontrollable reality and that also towards the negative side of the time axis. It seemed me so funny that I started greening and then laughing. Then she came back again with a faceless person in the better words and in my words a jackass looking like a dumbass with green clothes and blue eyes. Oh God! My poor imagination must have done a hard work on that. I was about to interrogate him for entering my private pagus when she interrupted.)

She: Let me introduce you to this person. The only problem about his introduction is – he is no person. He is the God. He will help you. So let this jinn of your wonderland have some rest. Bye sweet heart.

(I wanted to say – please be with me for some time more. But she passed through me and when I looked back she was gone. By then I had forgot about reasoning everything happening around me as illusions.)

God: Hello, kid. I am the God. You can treat me like your friend. I am here to help you. No need to panic. Be as comfortable as you can. It is really nice that ……

Me: Wowowo!! Hold on a second. You are God? Like the Lord Jagannath. Don’t you know that you can’t get from me what you deserve or better want to get from a devotee of yours? Well don’t drag me to the paradox but I am an atheist. I don’t believe in Gods as such and you are saying that you are one.

God: Well my friend, I am not as mighteous as Lord Jagannath. And I don’t desire or deserve any respect and devotion. All I want is to hear you and a little chat with you. And also to clarify I am the God of the Atheists (GoA). Well before you say anything I want to clarify that I am not the God of peoples like you. You can say I just want some private entertainment of myself like the God of the Theists do. It will be better if you don’t drag me into the debate of atheist and theist. I am the bat. I am omnipresent. So my friend, treat me like your friend. I promise help.

Me: Piss off.

GoA: You moron want me to be tough. I will be tough. Tight up your ass son before you can do anything about what I can do. What is your major malfunction, asshole?

Me: (I was a lot scared.) Why don’t you tell me? You are the God, not me.

GoA: Wowowo!! Just a moment ago you baled that you are an atheist. How can you destroy your ego with just a kick in your ass? You tell me. You know your balls better than me.

Me: Hmmm. I am impressed. By the way I didn’t screw up. That is called second handling in the real sense. If I can put down my fucking ego I won’t need help I know.

GoA: Nice puke. May I ask what asses your ego can get into?

Me: It just passed by yours. Couldn’t you make it out? …………………… It scares the shit out of people and by people I mean everybody, even my loved ones, even those who stand by me, even those for whom I am ready to sacrifice my existence …………… and even those who don’t care about me.

GoA: Hmmm. I see. And how do you define your ego?

Me: Well I can’t see myself getting fucked at places where I think I was born to kick asses. And for that I get carried away to the point where asses think I am screaming my ass off in despair and ultimately they turn back so that I can concentrate my enthusiasm in their butts. And I think I won. I become the cheapest whore in those butt faces and they become my keeps. But neither they nor I get to know each other. My erectile dysfunction starts there. I again question my broken ego. I know what you are thinking. You are wondering that why I can’t just get laid and enjoy. Well if you are going to ask me that then I am going to ask you this first – why can’t they just do the same in the first place?

GoA: So you want to be the Casanova. Fuck is all you want to say and do. Why do you want to fuck in the first place?

Me: Well I never wanted to be a Casanova till late and even if I do now then I don’t know the reason. You are not a human. How could you understand what lies in heart?

GoA: Well son, I know you can’t ask it to any human. So I am here. And before you question my presence here I would like to say that, “All men are dogs.” All men are opportunists. Believe me I get a better view from up here than you in your 2 dimensional worlds. You are a burning ass of an example of that. Don’t you think you are paralyzed? All you need is help. Help to get over something which you don’t need at all. Stop fucking yourself and speak like you have got a pair.

Me: What about that humanity shit? Should I be the one being the one but without actually having one? That’s in me. I am in that ass. And that’s the only condom I got when I fuck myself. Well said and I liked the idea that Men are fucking dogs. But why the fuck do I have in am fucking pumping heart or messy brain of mine that say that women can help me. Well if you know men then I know women. Not all women are bitches, some are. Rests just fuck. Is it just those bitches I am being close with or is it just the fuck I want to enjoy though I can’t, being a sadist upon myself?

GoA: Don’t blame your actions son. Just blame yourself. The problem is in you. You are the fucking maggot. You can never be an ass licking faggot not because of Sigmund Freud’s sexual mind theory but because of your 24/7 erected ego. And in someway your thing hasn’t got that dirty. Let me tell you an open secret my son. Men always have both their hands loaded which they want to share with every fragrant ass they come across. In one hand they have their penis and in the other they have their fucking, desire filled heart. And it is up to the ass to decide what to choose. And you son I think have forgotten your first hand. Why don’t you try a little exercise there? Why don’t you think that you can escape from yourself fucking yourself when you get to fuck somebody else?

Me: Haha. Fuck yourself asshole. Don’t throw your boomerang if you don’t know how to open your butt for receiving it. I think its bleeding hard in there. Or are you dumb enough to listen what I said just a minute ago? I said that humanity is the only condom I am spared with. Don’t you remember? My fucking conscience doesn’t feel this way FYI. I had somebody to fuck, to fuck with. Just because that someone left should I start looking for pussies? And not clear with you and your bagful of mother fucking migraines in your head though, I had stuffs of my left hand all shared with the only one. Don’t you know? You self assumed bigawoo. The right hand stuff you said is all men’s primary weapon for smashing the ass of ever fucking lust. And lust is something biological and I have my lusts safe inside me and of course for women but never for a women whom I have shared my stuffs of the other hand or whom I have tried to share. FYI I protect them from myself.

GoA: Don’t bert me. I had enough. I never said anything about lusts and sex. Those are minor things when it comes to your fucking relationships. I don’t want to open a can of whoopass against you. Didn’t I say you not to blame your actions and just to blame yourself? You are your fucking conscience. My point is that you are a fucking limp. You need crutches to move around. I seriously doubt if you have your pair intact or not though you speak like you have it safe. And it is not only you. The whole world is full of smashed asses like you and everybody thinks like you do. Believe me son, I have seen the world. Do you think you are the only one who has been raped by luck? Well it is true that you are rare that after even that you didn’t leave yourself at post traumatic feelings of being raped and fucked yourself with your shitty conscience and your mind.

Me: Holy Shit!! That’s true.

GoA: Well you son of a bitch, now your bulb was lighted. Why do you keep thinking about replacing someone you lost? You can not replace every fucking body part of yours with others. You know that. But who said you can’t have other bones? Well your second hand will hesitate. I know that and you know that. But do you think the transplanted organ won’t understand that? Well this is a solution for legalizing the open fuck you are going to display to yourself whose primary purpose is to support you. You know and I know that you can never enjoy that fuck as you did before. It is completely up on you to decide what you need.

1 – Replacement

2 – Just support

Well all you need is support. Then why are you fucking off your fucked relationships for this. You just need some thing else. And you need not give a job to your so called dear ones to perfect the past.

Me: Hmm. I undress before you. Do whatever you want to. But just tell me wont my stuffs in the second hand would get shared if I start living with the transplant? It doesn’t take more than 24 hours for even total strangers of opposite sexes of the same sexual species to fall in Love with each other if they are alone from outside world. Here I get to break my promise which I made some years ago. And that was complete me. Before you fuck me I want to say that is that I still me? I mean I haven’t changed and that statement’s violation would fuck my existence even if I think or not. Is not it? And after that my licking tongue would start mumbling about the promises I will make in future.

GoA: The first fucking thing you say about yourself is to be happy. Fuck other stuffs son. You have nothing left to do with it. You have to fuck other stuffs.

Me: Hmm. Ok. That was a sexy piece of advice. But how to fuck off the sense of losing which I have got? I mean I am already a loser as I have lost and my easy pronunciation is loser because I don’t want to be called so by at least others. I can’t bear more loss.

GoA: Well you are a fucking loser because you just said it. Now I also can address you as one despite your confession. But don’t fuck off the definitions son. One who keeps losing is called loser and not the ones who have lost sometimes. According to your dictionary every fucking human is a loser. Don’t you see that, you moron? Don’t disguise yourself as a loser when actually you pretend to be a limp. At least you should say based on your fucking pretensions that you are limp, blind and deaf. Well now it is time to go son. Every thing I said about your limping was based on your pretensions and I had to assume what you pretend yourself to be for sometime because you are a hard ass. It is totally up to you how you want to fuck, whom to fuck and to fuck with or not.

And don’t fuck with your messy conscience when you have almost already fucked the thoughts and promises of someone whose little existence has been already raped. At least in this case every humanity and morality novels say that it is not you who should be placed first but the person who cares you.

Don’t teach me son. I know which hole is open where I can put it in and it is my duty to put it in for suckers like you.

Good Bye Son and Enjoy your grass, greenery and guts.

*******************

Sometimes you feel like going down but you are actually standing there. You accelerate towards center of earth. Gravity exists. You know it is true.

“Hey you motherfucker doper wake up. Come to the water. This bay is the sexiest babe of India. You have to feel its sweet salty water. Take off your clothes and let us have some fun of our own. You have been seating there for an hour. Your ass must be burning. You won’t feel it now though. Come to the water and be blue for sometime.”

I smiled and went into the water.

One


In my mind
There is a sorrow;
Will you buy it?

In my heart
There is a pathos;
Will you feel it?

In my song
There is a note;
Will you sing it?

In my smile
There is a tear;
Will you see it?

In my silence
There is an eloquence;
Will you listen it?

----------------------
----------------------

Two


It is difficult to think,
A rainbow without rain.
It is difficult to think;
An egg without a hen.

It is difficult to think,
A world without creatures.
It is difficult to think;
A life without pleasures.

It is difficult to think,
The sun without light.
It is difficult to think;
An eye without sight.

------------------------
------------------------

Look at me; I am wounded and nude,

It’s me and YOU, or just the solitude;

Illusions to complete me; is that just,

In YOURS, my world I discovered, yet that’s all lost.

Listen and heed the heartbeats;

Listen and heed the song of nights;

Hid in the delicacy of shadows;

Listen and heed what the night says.

Night has come with desires nameless and many,

She narrates a hundred woes; I listen to her epiphany;

Night untwined, unabashed stripped her cloak,

Pearls scattered as it were; am naked still as I pick.

Some spells in words as she chants;

Alit in my eyes many a lamps,

Some spells in words, YOU please chant;

But before YOU could, night has poured out.

Kissed by the day and overcast with desolation

Days went lonely and nights sans YOU,

Art perfumed for; YOU art, my companion;

And now I am incomplete without YOU.

But now I think I have learned,

The act of art of living well earned;

Time flew and my living well pretended,

Beauty of life; I well enacted.

Then why do I need a Midas touch?

Though whelming was YOUR lips-touch;

Between kisses I had to be caught;

Of a fine crescent I know I am short.

But still I beg -just a Midas touch, as a human I need cure;

I need those hands, whose touch glorifies me for sure.

I know I am devoid of those hands and of rhymes;

So please, anybody, please give me at least my two fine lines.

I was returning from Rourkela to kgp in Ispaat express. A gorgeous, beautiful and Hot lady clad in blue jeans entered my boggie. From her looks and her sandle I guessed that she didnt get a A/C seat ... and thats why she was with me .. err ... in the same boggie. The boggie was all full with differnt kinds of people starting from Marwadis to Machliwalis .. As obvious she didnt get a seat and chose a place near one of the bathrooms to stand. Coincidentally I was right infront of her. I became naughty for some moments and enjoyed that standing beauty. Anyways that didnt last long as I was starting to feel embarrased for not giving a seat to the only lady in the compartment. But I couldnt out of my ego. After 10 mins a few guys came and stood near that gal and started maroing cali by reading Hindi Newspaper. She was feeling a lot awkward. I was giving my shameless smile sometimes and was enjoying that. But I wanted a lot to offer her a seat. But I thought she may think otherwise. Kgp was still 1 hr more. Then a TT came. She begged for an A/C seat. But the TT couldnt help. Then she scanned a few nearby places in desperatation for some relaxation . Ohh I forgot to add that She was going to Cal as I heard while she was talking to the TI. This time I had to do something. To hell with my Ego. I said her "aap yahn baith sakti hain ... , mera station aagaya " and went away to the opposite side of the boggie. I over heard a "Thanx". Now I was screwed up. I had to stand for another whole hour witha machliwali. Finally The train arrived at Kgp and I went out .. breathed heavily. I was about to go out of he station my father called me. I stood there and talked to my father for some 5-6 mins. ... bought a pepsi and started to drink. In the mean time I actually heard a "THANKS A LOT" ... turned around to see that it was the same gal with her warm and Gay voice. I suppose She realised my sacrifice. Actually while I was standing there the train started moving slowly and the gal could see me from inside.

A thin trim trim sound woke me up. I felt sweat all around myself. There were still 6 guys on my reserved berth. Anyways I deviated towards the sound. I saw a little gal around 7 years of age with some instruments like a flute in her mouth was playing some unknown tunes and was walking as slowly as possible. Infront of her was her little sister I suppose (as they looked alike) was painted all over her face with some blue coloured powder sort of thing. She was one of the cutest gal I have ever seen. She held a plate on which there were 2 50 paisa coins and a 1 rupee coin. But the most interesting thing was they were not begging. They were just as casual as other tress passers. But there pace was too slow. I wondered how could they enter such a crowded place - Size does matters. Anyways I should not but anyway felt pity for them. Immidiately I tried to give them some money. But for an instance I thought I am encouraging them to Beg. I was in a fix. To Help or Not to help. I didnt what to do. But they were passing by and I had to do something. I couldnt decide anything. Only thing I wanted was to see them for another 10 mins. I pulled out a Britannia BIscuit Pack from my bag and Handed over to the liitle gal. She immediately sat down and tried to open the pack. He elder sister accompanied her. Then a man standing there pushed them towards me in utter hate for them - I suppose he was a brahmin like me and wanted everything clean. Anyways I felt glad that they didnt react to that and were continuing there fight to open that Pack. That was one of the world's most beautiful thing I saw. Anyways they couldnt succeed. The little cute gal looked at me for help and handed me the biscuit pack. OKK ... I will do that- I said and took that pack back. But what i saw was the both were leaving. I told them to stop and showed them some Biscuits to eat. They started smiling. My heart melted. They peacefully sat down and ate the biscuits - the little one played more than eating it. The the elder sister told me that , " Humko laga babuji , aap majak kar rahe hain uske aandar kuchh nahin." Well it was spoken in some Bihari accent. I got that. But WHY ... Why did she think like that ? That still confuses me. I just looked at them and couldnt do anything than giving some biscuits. I dont know to whom I should scold. But I wanna scold.

Well I dont know if she was a whore or not but she seemed so from her looks and her talks. By the way I dont think Whore means some socially degradeble material. Well, I was in the same train. She had a beautiful figure - I would rate her 9/10- except for her clothes. She was Dark, tall around 5.5 inches, wore some sort of wrappings - I dont know what is thatdress called - most probably some torn clothes completely wrapped on her gorgeous body. She was selling some Hand Made Fans and termed it something called "hawai". Anyways I would say She herself was hawa hawai ... Just after 2 seconds I was killed by her eyes. Ohh God. I was loosing all my senses. But when the King of Devatas- the controller of senses (I am an atheist , By the way) can lose his senses why cant I. It was no doubt that her curves did attract me. Hey I forgot mention about the Chhatisgarhians in my berths who were going to Ahemadabad for some railway interviews. They were eating all kinds of zardas, pans and were spitting where ever possible. I was the only one in that 6 berths who had a reservation and who smoked peacefully there. The Chhtisgarhians were good guys I suppose. They did crack jokes a lot and were of our frequency in some respects. They started commenting that gal - The Whore. Those comments were not insulting - were just appreciations. She listened a lot but didnt react only told some thing in some unrecognizable language. But the comments became harsh and insulting. The gal turned around - I was again killed- and spoke, " wahi karun kaa main. tum log to wahi chahta hai, kaam kar rahi hun ekk mahine se aaur kisiko shaanti nahin, banun kaa ran** firse, tabhi to lut te the , aab kaa kiya humne" - flanged her so called chunari towads them. A pin Drop Silence - She went away. I was thoughtless for some minutes. I felt guilt.

At some unknown station the train stopped for a minute. I as usual searched for women and found one. She was around 17-18 years old as I suppose. She was from a lower class society. Anyways I dont see status :D. She was pretty lookng and was fair. There was standing a 2-3 years old kid - most probably her bro or sis. Anyways I wathched her for some 30 seconds. The train started and now I could see her more clearly. There was a RED BINDI on her fore head and SINDHOOR on her upper head. I couldnt decide between what I thought and what I saw.

It is quite unusual for me to accept that Gals can Look at me. I know how gorgeous I am. Anyways I saw a few beautiful gals at Nagpur - Called them Jeans walis. Actually I just ejoy beauties and usually I dont care if they fail to notice me (Kinda habituated to that). But this time they were noticing me. I thought they are watching somebody else. It took me 4- 5 Mins to get out of the train in that crowd. I heard some shssshshhshs and didnt try to break that code. I bought a Pepsi bottle and started drinking that backing those jeans walis. But this time I could clearly notice that they were noticing me. I thought as usual my pants have gone down to reveal my innerwear - checked for that occurancy - no it was not. Then what- I began feeling great as if I am a handsome guy and they are checking me Out. I posed at different positions . Now I heard some clear Shshshshsshshhhhsss .... tried to break that .. some thing like Kharagpur was decoded ... but how do they know I have came from kharagpur ..... What the F*** . They were checking out that T-Shirt not me. I was shattered completely but regained my composure. They threw some looks on me - I suppose - Look heres an IITian and not that here is a cool guy. The IIT Tag SUX in case of BANDIS ... they always look at TAGs only.

I dont know what I should term those kinds of gals. I saw her at Bhilai station. She was being accompanied by her father or some elder person. She and her father were looking for smething or somebody or were waiting for some trains. I couldnt guess what they were doing. My habit is to look continuosly look at beauties without caring for there approval - atleast I will get more looks than anybody else - in whatever sense - doesnt matter. This time I didnt care for her father and her father easily made it out that I am staring at her daughter - She too realised that her father has realised that I was looking at her. She turned her face away and I mine for a second to Smile. The next second I took my bloody idiots face out. Her father was talking to some TI or whoever I dont care. I looked at that gal continuosly. She did looked at me to .....