Monday, May 21, 2007

 

Comment to Kabeer's Poem "Before Sunset" at http://kabeerjasuja.blogspot.com --- "AFTER SUNSET"

As the world goes to sleep; you open your eyes,

Moon you call me; I adorn the skies,

Indifferent is my Garb; I am present day and night,

My presence remains the same, changes only the sight.



As the cosmos began to evade I was born;

O' beautiful earth you held me back before I was torn,

Supported me, comforted me and smiled at me

You became the friend whom I can only see.



I wanted to live my life again; I wanted to be tough,

You never did anything; your gravity was enough,

Baselessly I evaluated, I appraised and loved,

I never knew what pleasure was there but I revolved.



I kept revolving and revolving; my eyes always set on you,

You could only look at me at night – I never knew,

Day flourishes on you; Sun is the only one which matters,

Whenever I think about it my heart cries spatters.



Never should you shed a tear, is my prime concern,

Honest were my feelings, I didn't expect a return.

Then why do I hide behind the clouds and why do I feel the pain,

Tears I can't hide; they fall as rain.



If I don't want anything in return and I have cipher expectations;

Why I am doing all these literary expressions?

Do I expect? I asked myself not out of the blue,

And you feel for the sun exactly what I feel for you.



But I always wear a smile; I have a reason for mirth,

In my heart you shall reside 'O Beautiful Earth'.

The Sun is about to rise, soon shall I fade,

I shall live with the memories, they never evade.



Generous was the Sun; he valued, I thought, my feelings,

But when I eclipsed Him from you, He presented you the Ring.

But, whatever, remember me if you can, as a period of spring,

As a light in the dark, as a shine of your Ring.



But you know what; the shine of the ring is Sun's light,

His light fills me in day and I am visible only at night,

Sun knows what I feel for you is what you feel for him,

And yet he fills me; sometimes bright and sometimes dim.



But you look at yourself; take a break from the lives and beauty,

We are all a family and you compete with the Venus being the snooty,

If you accept my appraisals then accept my scolding too,

For your happiness, anybody you can woo.



I still love you and you will be my beloved forever,

Whom I can only see but can reach you never,

We all are a part of it and all are necessary for our presence,

So, recompose yourself; I still remember the smile you gave me once.

Comments:
If its a comment, what more could one ask for, if its a poem its even better. Yours has deeper meanings than mine and is more pragmatic..the thoughts are really very good .. what more can I say :) keep writing .
 
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