Monday, May 21, 2007
Comment to Kabeer's Poem "Before Sunset" at http://kabeerjasuja.blogspot.com --- "AFTER SUNSET"
As the world goes to sleep; you open your eyes,
Moon you call me; I adorn the skies,
Indifferent is my Garb; I am present day and night,
My presence remains the same, changes only the sight.
As the cosmos began to evade I was born;
O' beautiful earth you held me back before I was torn,
Supported me, comforted me and smiled at me
You became the friend whom I can only see.
I wanted to live my life again; I wanted to be tough,
You never did anything; your gravity was enough,
Baselessly I evaluated, I appraised and loved,
I never knew what pleasure was there but I revolved.
I kept revolving and revolving; my eyes always set on you,
You could only look at me at night – I never knew,
Day flourishes on you; Sun is the only one which matters,
Whenever I think about it my heart cries spatters.
Never should you shed a tear, is my prime concern,
Honest were my feelings, I didn't expect a return.
Then why do I hide behind the clouds and why do I feel the pain,
Tears I can't hide; they fall as rain.
If I don't want anything in return and I have cipher expectations;
Why I am doing all these literary expressions?
Do I expect? I asked myself not out of the blue,
And you feel for the sun exactly what I feel for you.
But I always wear a smile; I have a reason for mirth,
In my heart you shall reside 'O Beautiful Earth'.
The Sun is about to rise, soon shall I fade,
I shall live with the memories, they never evade.
Generous was the Sun; he valued, I thought, my feelings,
But when I eclipsed Him from you, He presented you the Ring.
But, whatever, remember me if you can, as a period of spring,
As a light in the dark, as a shine of your Ring.
But you know what; the shine of the ring is Sun's light,
His light fills me in day and I am visible only at night,
Sun knows what I feel for you is what you feel for him,
And yet he fills me; sometimes bright and sometimes dim.
But you look at yourself; take a break from the lives and beauty,
We are all a family and you compete with the Venus being the snooty,
If you accept my appraisals then accept my scolding too,
For your happiness, anybody you can woo.
I still love you and you will be my beloved forever,
Whom I can only see but can reach you never,
We all are a part of it and all are necessary for our presence,
So, recompose yourself; I still remember the smile you gave me once.
Moon you call me; I adorn the skies,
Indifferent is my Garb; I am present day and night,
My presence remains the same, changes only the sight.
As the cosmos began to evade I was born;
O' beautiful earth you held me back before I was torn,
Supported me, comforted me and smiled at me
You became the friend whom I can only see.
I wanted to live my life again; I wanted to be tough,
You never did anything; your gravity was enough,
Baselessly I evaluated, I appraised and loved,
I never knew what pleasure was there but I revolved.
I kept revolving and revolving; my eyes always set on you,
You could only look at me at night – I never knew,
Day flourishes on you; Sun is the only one which matters,
Whenever I think about it my heart cries spatters.
Never should you shed a tear, is my prime concern,
Honest were my feelings, I didn't expect a return.
Then why do I hide behind the clouds and why do I feel the pain,
Tears I can't hide; they fall as rain.
If I don't want anything in return and I have cipher expectations;
Why I am doing all these literary expressions?
Do I expect? I asked myself not out of the blue,
And you feel for the sun exactly what I feel for you.
But I always wear a smile; I have a reason for mirth,
In my heart you shall reside 'O Beautiful Earth'.
The Sun is about to rise, soon shall I fade,
I shall live with the memories, they never evade.
Generous was the Sun; he valued, I thought, my feelings,
But when I eclipsed Him from you, He presented you the Ring.
But, whatever, remember me if you can, as a period of spring,
As a light in the dark, as a shine of your Ring.
But you know what; the shine of the ring is Sun's light,
His light fills me in day and I am visible only at night,
Sun knows what I feel for you is what you feel for him,
And yet he fills me; sometimes bright and sometimes dim.
But you look at yourself; take a break from the lives and beauty,
We are all a family and you compete with the Venus being the snooty,
If you accept my appraisals then accept my scolding too,
For your happiness, anybody you can woo.
I still love you and you will be my beloved forever,
Whom I can only see but can reach you never,
We all are a part of it and all are necessary for our presence,
So, recompose yourself; I still remember the smile you gave me once.
Comments:
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If its a comment, what more could one ask for, if its a poem its even better. Yours has deeper meanings than mine and is more pragmatic..the thoughts are really very good .. what more can I say :) keep writing .
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