Purely Not Original

Disclaimer:
This is Fiction. I am lying.
(When I say I am lying does that mean I am lying that I am lying or I am telling the truth that I am lying?)

READERS DISCRIMINATION HIGHLY ADVISED. FOR ADULTS ONLY.

This article presents the some open secret facts about human nature. Readers should take a note that this article is full of SLANGS. If you are confident enough then proceed.

During winter season in the northern hemisphere the sun makes an angle with the vertical more than usually it makes. It was mid December and sun was making much more than at least 24 degrees with vertical from my point of view and I was in Orissa. It was morning. I was on my way to Puri from Bhubaneswar in Tapaswini Express. Usually it takes at maximum 2 hours for that but for me it took around 5 hours because of nation wide strike dedicated to Mamta Banarjee. Everything seemed nice and cool. The environment and weather were perfect for any kind of romantic activities. Although I didn’t have any romantic experiences then I enjoyed the weather and gossips with 5 more child hood friends of mine. We enjoyed the strike and the station in Retanga where the train was stopped. More than usual amount of happiness were we getting because of the near future that we were going to make possible and there by would get HIGH. Well we couldn’t wait and started preparing joints right in the train. Before we reached at the holy place of Theists – The Puri, owned by Lord Mighty Jagannath I was already high spiritually, mentally, behaviorally. Believe it or not – Grass is always greener. Obviously we went to the best beach I ever seen in eastern and western India. I had my senses intact in my ass. Rest I left up to my friends. The sea was looking green to me. It was calling me. I was unable to hear anything my friends or the crowd said. It was a funny feeling. I was weightless. Funnier it looked to me when I saw myself laughing and smiling to forget my pains.

For a moment I let myself loose and went into the deep Green sky like a hot air gas balloon. She came once again. I saw her. I requested her not to fuck with me while my ass in still sealed and asked her to come if she can when I have my senses. She explained that I am the jackass who has created her while I am high and that she would never mingle with me in this state. Then we had a little conversation and I got introduced to someone. This is how it seemed.

Me: I can’t control myself but I can create fucking illusions? Bravo. Anyways what do you want then? Well, my asses are shrinking down when I beg a fucking kiss from a fucking illusion that I created by just puffing some fucking leaves. Please fuck off.

She: You know you don’t want me to leave you. And until you want it yourself I can’t. So shut the fuck up sweet heart. Well I am here today to introduce you to someone.

Me: Oh good! Is it another illusion by my pervert mind?

She: Well it is good if you leave your fucking mind alone for some moment. Just watch what is going on around here in this dimension. And your mind is not pervert. The right word would have been desirous. You just want to use some fucking words. Believe me he will help you in your worries.

Me: Who the fuck is he? And I don’t have any fucking problems. Leave me alone and let me enjoy the greenery all around here. I would have been glad if it was the fourth dimension.

(She vanished in the green and I tried to make her up again and so started concentrating. But she was gone. There are times when you want to be the big shot but actually you don’t have even a pair. It was funny as such to see my despair and grief over some uncontrollable reality and that also towards the negative side of the time axis. It seemed me so funny that I started greening and then laughing. Then she came back again with a faceless person in the better words and in my words a jackass looking like a dumbass with green clothes and blue eyes. Oh God! My poor imagination must have done a hard work on that. I was about to interrogate him for entering my private pagus when she interrupted.)

She: Let me introduce you to this person. The only problem about his introduction is – he is no person. He is the God. He will help you. So let this jinn of your wonderland have some rest. Bye sweet heart.

(I wanted to say – please be with me for some time more. But she passed through me and when I looked back she was gone. By then I had forgot about reasoning everything happening around me as illusions.)

God: Hello, kid. I am the God. You can treat me like your friend. I am here to help you. No need to panic. Be as comfortable as you can. It is really nice that ……

Me: Wowowo!! Hold on a second. You are God? Like the Lord Jagannath. Don’t you know that you can’t get from me what you deserve or better want to get from a devotee of yours? Well don’t drag me to the paradox but I am an atheist. I don’t believe in Gods as such and you are saying that you are one.

God: Well my friend, I am not as mighteous as Lord Jagannath. And I don’t desire or deserve any respect and devotion. All I want is to hear you and a little chat with you. And also to clarify I am the God of the Atheists (GoA). Well before you say anything I want to clarify that I am not the God of peoples like you. You can say I just want some private entertainment of myself like the God of the Theists do. It will be better if you don’t drag me into the debate of atheist and theist. I am the bat. I am omnipresent. So my friend, treat me like your friend. I promise help.

Me: Piss off.

GoA: You moron want me to be tough. I will be tough. Tight up your ass son before you can do anything about what I can do. What is your major malfunction, asshole?

Me: (I was a lot scared.) Why don’t you tell me? You are the God, not me.

GoA: Wowowo!! Just a moment ago you baled that you are an atheist. How can you destroy your ego with just a kick in your ass? You tell me. You know your balls better than me.

Me: Hmmm. I am impressed. By the way I didn’t screw up. That is called second handling in the real sense. If I can put down my fucking ego I won’t need help I know.

GoA: Nice puke. May I ask what asses your ego can get into?

Me: It just passed by yours. Couldn’t you make it out? …………………… It scares the shit out of people and by people I mean everybody, even my loved ones, even those who stand by me, even those for whom I am ready to sacrifice my existence …………… and even those who don’t care about me.

GoA: Hmmm. I see. And how do you define your ego?

Me: Well I can’t see myself getting fucked at places where I think I was born to kick asses. And for that I get carried away to the point where asses think I am screaming my ass off in despair and ultimately they turn back so that I can concentrate my enthusiasm in their butts. And I think I won. I become the cheapest whore in those butt faces and they become my keeps. But neither they nor I get to know each other. My erectile dysfunction starts there. I again question my broken ego. I know what you are thinking. You are wondering that why I can’t just get laid and enjoy. Well if you are going to ask me that then I am going to ask you this first – why can’t they just do the same in the first place?

GoA: So you want to be the Casanova. Fuck is all you want to say and do. Why do you want to fuck in the first place?

Me: Well I never wanted to be a Casanova till late and even if I do now then I don’t know the reason. You are not a human. How could you understand what lies in heart?

GoA: Well son, I know you can’t ask it to any human. So I am here. And before you question my presence here I would like to say that, “All men are dogs.” All men are opportunists. Believe me I get a better view from up here than you in your 2 dimensional worlds. You are a burning ass of an example of that. Don’t you think you are paralyzed? All you need is help. Help to get over something which you don’t need at all. Stop fucking yourself and speak like you have got a pair.

Me: What about that humanity shit? Should I be the one being the one but without actually having one? That’s in me. I am in that ass. And that’s the only condom I got when I fuck myself. Well said and I liked the idea that Men are fucking dogs. But why the fuck do I have in am fucking pumping heart or messy brain of mine that say that women can help me. Well if you know men then I know women. Not all women are bitches, some are. Rests just fuck. Is it just those bitches I am being close with or is it just the fuck I want to enjoy though I can’t, being a sadist upon myself?

GoA: Don’t blame your actions son. Just blame yourself. The problem is in you. You are the fucking maggot. You can never be an ass licking faggot not because of Sigmund Freud’s sexual mind theory but because of your 24/7 erected ego. And in someway your thing hasn’t got that dirty. Let me tell you an open secret my son. Men always have both their hands loaded which they want to share with every fragrant ass they come across. In one hand they have their penis and in the other they have their fucking, desire filled heart. And it is up to the ass to decide what to choose. And you son I think have forgotten your first hand. Why don’t you try a little exercise there? Why don’t you think that you can escape from yourself fucking yourself when you get to fuck somebody else?

Me: Haha. Fuck yourself asshole. Don’t throw your boomerang if you don’t know how to open your butt for receiving it. I think its bleeding hard in there. Or are you dumb enough to listen what I said just a minute ago? I said that humanity is the only condom I am spared with. Don’t you remember? My fucking conscience doesn’t feel this way FYI. I had somebody to fuck, to fuck with. Just because that someone left should I start looking for pussies? And not clear with you and your bagful of mother fucking migraines in your head though, I had stuffs of my left hand all shared with the only one. Don’t you know? You self assumed bigawoo. The right hand stuff you said is all men’s primary weapon for smashing the ass of ever fucking lust. And lust is something biological and I have my lusts safe inside me and of course for women but never for a women whom I have shared my stuffs of the other hand or whom I have tried to share. FYI I protect them from myself.

GoA: Don’t bert me. I had enough. I never said anything about lusts and sex. Those are minor things when it comes to your fucking relationships. I don’t want to open a can of whoopass against you. Didn’t I say you not to blame your actions and just to blame yourself? You are your fucking conscience. My point is that you are a fucking limp. You need crutches to move around. I seriously doubt if you have your pair intact or not though you speak like you have it safe. And it is not only you. The whole world is full of smashed asses like you and everybody thinks like you do. Believe me son, I have seen the world. Do you think you are the only one who has been raped by luck? Well it is true that you are rare that after even that you didn’t leave yourself at post traumatic feelings of being raped and fucked yourself with your shitty conscience and your mind.

Me: Holy Shit!! That’s true.

GoA: Well you son of a bitch, now your bulb was lighted. Why do you keep thinking about replacing someone you lost? You can not replace every fucking body part of yours with others. You know that. But who said you can’t have other bones? Well your second hand will hesitate. I know that and you know that. But do you think the transplanted organ won’t understand that? Well this is a solution for legalizing the open fuck you are going to display to yourself whose primary purpose is to support you. You know and I know that you can never enjoy that fuck as you did before. It is completely up on you to decide what you need.

1 – Replacement

2 – Just support

Well all you need is support. Then why are you fucking off your fucked relationships for this. You just need some thing else. And you need not give a job to your so called dear ones to perfect the past.

Me: Hmm. I undress before you. Do whatever you want to. But just tell me wont my stuffs in the second hand would get shared if I start living with the transplant? It doesn’t take more than 24 hours for even total strangers of opposite sexes of the same sexual species to fall in Love with each other if they are alone from outside world. Here I get to break my promise which I made some years ago. And that was complete me. Before you fuck me I want to say that is that I still me? I mean I haven’t changed and that statement’s violation would fuck my existence even if I think or not. Is not it? And after that my licking tongue would start mumbling about the promises I will make in future.

GoA: The first fucking thing you say about yourself is to be happy. Fuck other stuffs son. You have nothing left to do with it. You have to fuck other stuffs.

Me: Hmm. Ok. That was a sexy piece of advice. But how to fuck off the sense of losing which I have got? I mean I am already a loser as I have lost and my easy pronunciation is loser because I don’t want to be called so by at least others. I can’t bear more loss.

GoA: Well you are a fucking loser because you just said it. Now I also can address you as one despite your confession. But don’t fuck off the definitions son. One who keeps losing is called loser and not the ones who have lost sometimes. According to your dictionary every fucking human is a loser. Don’t you see that, you moron? Don’t disguise yourself as a loser when actually you pretend to be a limp. At least you should say based on your fucking pretensions that you are limp, blind and deaf. Well now it is time to go son. Every thing I said about your limping was based on your pretensions and I had to assume what you pretend yourself to be for sometime because you are a hard ass. It is totally up to you how you want to fuck, whom to fuck and to fuck with or not.

And don’t fuck with your messy conscience when you have almost already fucked the thoughts and promises of someone whose little existence has been already raped. At least in this case every humanity and morality novels say that it is not you who should be placed first but the person who cares you.

Don’t teach me son. I know which hole is open where I can put it in and it is my duty to put it in for suckers like you.

Good Bye Son and Enjoy your grass, greenery and guts.

*******************

Sometimes you feel like going down but you are actually standing there. You accelerate towards center of earth. Gravity exists. You know it is true.

“Hey you motherfucker doper wake up. Come to the water. This bay is the sexiest babe of India. You have to feel its sweet salty water. Take off your clothes and let us have some fun of our own. You have been seating there for an hour. Your ass must be burning. You won’t feel it now though. Come to the water and be blue for sometime.”

I smiled and went into the water.